I want to start by saying this is scary for me. This is a vulnerable post and I am hesitant to share it. It feels costly to share because it is so close to my heart. This won’t be for everyone and that’s ok.
I don’t cry very often. It’s kind of a “floodgates open” situation when I do. Red faced, ugly cry ordeal. The Lord spoke to me a few weeks ago about how He was going to bring tears to me and soften my heart. He led me to look for the story of The Weeping Room which I hadn’t read in years. Then that same day, I was listening to a podcast, and the pastor said that God is bringing tears back to the Church. OK! I get it!
When I was in college, a woman read The Weeping Room to me and a few of my friends. The Weeping Room is a vision that a missionary named Jennifer Toledo got about a house in God’s Kingdom. It is a powerful picture with symbolism. It literally wrecked me and shaped my time with the Lord for a few years. I found a recording of her sharing it, which you can listen to here. Before you read further, please listen to minutes 31-44.
I don’t want anyone to feel confused about this. The Bible doesn’t say that The Weeping Room is an actual place. It was a picture that God gave her in her spirit so that she could understand Jesus’ heart for the world. I think of it more as a posture in prayer.
She says that the Weeping Room accomplishes these things:
- Takes you into deeper intimacy with the Father, past comfort.
- Heals you from your junk.
- Gives you understanding of your identity and purpose.
- Teaches you mature love (it’s not about you anymore).
I spent years in that place, quietly seeking God, and asking Him what was on His heart. It was not fun or glamorous. It was hard. I lost a lot of sleep and skipped a lot of meals. One of the first times that my hubby saw me, I was at the altar in our school’s chapel having a Weeping Room encounter. I literally stained the carpet with my hot tears. He looked at me and wanted to pursue me, because he could tell I was going after Jesus and had hidden myself in Him.
This is what I know about The Weeping Room:
- It takes sacrifice.
- You observe quietly.
- You are moved to respond in intercession and filled with compassion.
- You know without a doubt that prayer is the most powerful weapon. It’s not a last resort.
- You see people through God’s eyes.
- It is impossible to leave offended or resentful.
I marched myself right out of The Weeping Room years ago because some pastors hurt my feelings and I chose to get offended and bitter. Like Jennifer said, the door to get into The Weeping Room is tiny. You have to humble yourself and go low to fit through it. Things like bitterness, jealousy, comparison, and insecurity are all rooted in pride and they can not enter that deep level of intimacy.
Jesus paid a high price and He is our example. What He went through for us was not pretty or comfortable. In fact, it cost Him everything. He was lonely, betrayed, misunderstood, laughed at, beaten, and murdered. The disciples were martyred because of their stand for Christianity. And yet, we want to live as comfortably as possible. Please hear me, I am not judging anyone. This is a challenge for all of us.
I want to be so in love with Jesus that I am willing to go where He goes and spend time with who He values. This scripture tells us who is on Jesus’ heart:
The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
2 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the Lord
for the display of his splendor.
(Isaiah 61:1-3 NIV, emphasis added.)
God exposes His heart for this hurting world, to us, in The Weeping Room. God loves the poor, broken, captive, prisoner, and the mourning. He expects our hearts to reflect His. How often are those the types of people we choose to spend our time with?
I’m worried that we have gotten a little loud and flashy. We want as many “likes” as we can get and share every detail of our lives. I think we have forgotten to pursue God’s heart in secret. God desires quiet time with us alone:
“You are my hiding place; You, Lord, protect me from trouble; You surround me with songs and shouts of deliverance. Selah,” (Ps 32:7 AMP).
“But whenever you pray, go into your innermost chamber and be alone with Father God, praying to him in secret. And your Father, who sees all you do, will reward you openly,” (Matt 6:6 TPT).
“Before daybreak the next morning, Jesus got up and went out to an isolated place to pray,” (Mark 1:35 NLT).
“Move your heart closer and closer to God, and he will come even closer to you. But make sure you cleanse your life, you sinners, and keep your heart pure and stop doubting,” (James 4:8 TPT).
I feel like God is inviting us into The Weeping Room. He deserves our full attention and devotion. I invite you to join me and go after Him with your whole heart.