I am married to a dreamer. His mind goes a million miles an hour and he is full of faith. He sees only possibilities and has no fear. I am not that way. I see all possible problems. God wired me to see systems and problem solve. I am thankful for the way I’m made, but sometimes I let it cloud my faith.
About 2 years ago we lived in Dallas and my car wasn’t drivable. My husband’s car is a stick shift. I had learned how to drive a stick in college but I was bad at it then. On top of that, it had been almost 10 years since I had driven a car with a manual transmission. Now we had two little kids and lived in a major city where the traffic was terrible. I had 30 minutes to relearn before I needed to drop my husband off at his campus in Southlake, and get myself across town to the Fort Worth campus. There was no way I’d be able to do this! As soon as I sat down in the driver’s seat though, my body remembered exactly what to do. I literally got right onto the road with zero issues.
I was so inspired by that event that I decided to go on a run the next day. I wanted to run a mile again. It had been a couple of years since I had done it. I felt so good that I ran a mile and a half. But. When I came into the house, my sweet man told me that he saw me doing something in the future and I immediately dismissed it and said, “No, I’d never be able to do that.” I’d had two big victories back to back and still couldn’t see this thing as a possibility.
A girlfriend text me recently that she wanted to get together to talk. Just that simple text sent me into a panic. I looked at my husband and said, “She’s leaving the church. She’s had enough and they are leaving.” I lost it for like an hour and a half. Do you want to know what she wanted to talk about? She was beginning a new job and wanted to talk it over with me. That’s it. What she texted was actually what she meant. Go figure?!
It is wild how fast my brain can dream up a bad situation. None of those fears were based off of truth. They took up precious real estate in my mind and emotions. Why wasn’t faith my first response? Why do I always expect the worst-case scenario?
I listen to a podcast every week called Trim, Healthy Mama. Podcast here. They encourage their listeners to change the way that they think of and speak about themselves. I have found a lot of freedom listening to them. They have a funny co-host named Danny, who, on one of the podcasts said, “What if you could?” I don’t remember the exact context of the conversation but the idea was instead of saying things like, “I could never or I’m bad at…” say “What if I could.” It has become a motto on the podcast and he is writing a book about it.
“What if you could” can apply to anything we face. What if I could completely trust God and not allow anxiety to rob from me? What if I could run two miles? What if I wasn’t afraid to speak in front of people anymore?
When I look back over all that God has done in my life there is no reason for me to be full of fear, doubt, or anxiety:
- I got saved at 14 and found my home in the local church. I never partied because I found Jesus right before high school.
- God literally paid for my college degree – every penny.
- I was the first person in my family to graduate college.
- God brought me the man I prayed for.
- Our marriage was headed for divorce and Jesus healed us. Now we get to mentor and counsel other couples.
- He gave me two precious little girls.
- We have never put out resumes for any positions we’ve had. God has literally opened every door.
- God healed my bestie of cancer.
- He’s provided friends, food, homes, cars, finances, trips, and countless other blessings.
- He’s spoken to me and given me promises.
God has been so, so, so unbelievably good to me. He doesn’t deserve anything but gratitude, praise and honor. It’s impossible to testify about God’s goodness and be full of fear at the same time. What if I could be full of faith? What if fear didn’t enslave me anymore?
Here’s what He has to say about it:
“For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” Phil 4:13 NLT
“For nothing will be impossible with God.” Luke 1:37 ESV
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.” Prov. 3:5 NLT
“For we live by faith, not by what we see with our eyes.” 2 Corin. 5:7 TPT
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 ESV
I was journaling this week and wrote, “Lord, help me to be fearless.” Then I got on my face and asked God to help me with my fear. My three-year-old immediately walked over to the bed, got right next to my ear, and sang, “Your heart name,” and walked away. I asked God to make me fearless. He sent my baby to tell me that is my heart’s name: Fearless.
The phrase, “Do not be afraid,” is in the Bible 365 times. I know that is not an accident… He gave us one for every single day of the year.
Maybe fear doesn’t trip you up like it does me. But I’m certain there is something in your life that you need to hear, “What if you could,” about. What if you could break the cycle of abusive relationships, what if you could quit that addiction, what if you could see your body as the temple of the Holy Spirit, what if you liked yourself…
Change doesn’t just happen. We have to make steps in the direction we want to go. I’ve attached a worksheet for you to use. Feel free to print it off. Hopefully it will be helpful to you. We can do anything through Christ who gives us strength (Phil 4:13).